sounding cocky (as I wrote in the last entry), with what I am about to write. I don't really mean it at face value, but... Sometimes, I feel that the first year living in China doesn't count. If you have only been here for a year, you have nothing to offer me in terms of knowledge or understanding (no, I don't really believe this all the time, but I do when I get worked up). The second and third years are spent just trying to navigate through this seemingly obtuse culture. By the fourth year, the language will hopefully be good enough to really have serious conversations with the locals, and this is when it gets real. In the beginning, it was blissful. I understood nothing, and I wasn't bothered by this. Now, I can communicate with the locals, and it is much harder to hide behind a language barrier. What I see today is that the difference in language is helpful in protecting me from the full impact of the cultural difference. Today, I can talk to people, and when they explain things to me, I think... 'wow, people actually believe this, or they live this way'... Yeah, I know, judgemental. You may call me judgemental, but remember that I am also human, and I don't want to water this down and try to present the situation in a way that isn't real.
The next thing I am going to write may seem very arrogant. Please excuse me, as I don't enjoy coming across in this way, and my intent is not to be disrespectful to the reader, but I feel it is true so I am going to write it. People in China think differently from the way that I have learned. It seems like a simple idea, and maybe you may be thinking that... Hey, George doesn't need to say this to me, I know this already... But, it runs much deeper than I originally suspected.... I mean that there are inherent differences in reasoning that sometimes make cooperation with the local people extremely difficult. I will give some examples later... But what I want to mention first, and I may have mentioned this before... is that these differences are not always simply resolved by a simple explanation of cultural differences, and that problem-solving techniques that I have learned throughout my life... i.e., conflict resolution, cooperative work, compromise, respect... are handled in a way that is completely different. This results in my problem-solving techniques actually making the problem much worse. Let me give some examples of what I am talking about.
1- Many people here are actors, not talkers. What I mean is that there seems to be less focus on the specifics of what is said, and more focus on what is done. This idea that I am sharing right now is very complex, but I guess that this results in people saying things to me that seem to not really fit a situation. When I say that they are actors, what I mean is that they indicate their relationship with you with their actions, not their words. Sometimes, speaking is an action, so it is sometimes more important to listen to how people say things than the content of the information.
2- The presentation of ideas is ordered in a way that is completely different from what I have become accustomed to back home. This means that I may position a main topic sentence when speaking Chinese with a meaning that I feel is very clear, and probably would be very clear to other foreigners, but the group of Chinese listeners would interpret different information that I have shared as the main topic. This difference has caused heartache for me while living here.
3- People tend to be reluctant to describe the local culture. I am not exactly sure why. I have a few ideas on why this may be the case... Maybe the Chinese people figure that the concept should be plain and readily understood... Maybe, they understand the concept, but cannot express it in the oral language in a way that would allow me to access the information in a way that would allow me to put it to use. Maybe they want to keep the idea a secret, or want to keep me guessing.
4- People will lie to me about things that I would not tolerate back home. Initially, this angered me, but what I have come to understand is that, sometimes, it is more important to listen to how something is being said, rather than the specific information. I can sometimes ask a question, but I cannot always trust the answer that I get. I don't really understand why people will give answers when they really don't know.
5- They are sensitive in areas that we are not (and visa-versa).... They are not very sensitive to criticism directed to the individual (unless it may result them in losing face). This means that they are not bothered by it, and are perfectly willing to be critical about me in ways that I don't always enjoy... i.e., if I forget something, they remind me that I forgot it every time I see them for the next 6 months (problematic for me because I always forget things), or if I start to gain weight, they will point out that I am getting bigger and bigger. They are sensitive about things that represent people as a whole, so they react strongly to criticism directed to the country as a whole. If I start to talk about pollution, hygiene, or the government, people get very uncomfortable. They suspect that I may get uncomfortable about criticism about the war in Iraq, Barack Obama, or the fact that people in certain parts of the United States are permitted to own guns.
6- I get the impression that many Chinese people feel that they are superior to the rest of the world. It is just an impression, but people have said to me that they believe that I feel that life in the United States is superior to that in China (something I don't necessarily agree with on all fronts). In this case, perhaps there is simply a misunderstanding.
After reading all of this, one may feel that maybe I am not happy here. That is not entirely true. I just get frustrated sometimes. Living in China is difficult in some ways, but easy in others. As a foreigner, I, in some ways, have more freedom here in China than I do back home. It may sound strange, but I feel that it is true in many ways. Honestly speaking, I think the greatest problem is me, not the Chinese people. There are things that are good about living here, but I tend to focus on the things that suck. What I want to do now is give some examples of how people make life easier...
1. There is not much desire from the Chinese people to change me. They seem to tolerate me as I am. What I see today is that in my early years, it was me who was demanding change... I felt that the people here should change, and not me. Now, I didn't always say this out loud, but I did think it. Today, I do get frustrated, but I try not to complain (as much).
2. Services are handled in a different way. I cannot expect too much in hygiene, but as long as my attitude is good, I can expect much effort from an honest Chinese person. Not all people are honest or good, but the good ones will often meet me more than half way on an issue, but they will do so in a way that is different from what I may expect back home. I sometimes feel that people here will often compromise in ways that I normally would not back home (i.e., giving me apples when I asked for oranges... being a half- hour late when they said 10 minutes) and they are not particularly sensitive in this regard, but usually, whatever work is involved, it is usually done with greater attention to detail and effort, but in a different way. I just have to remember that they are not intentionally trying to dick me (yeah, there are dishonest people here... I have experience with this, but I am talking about the honest ones).
3. The food here is superb. It did take some time to get used to... It is not always healthy, clean or sanitary, but it does taste good. There is a much greater variety here, and I believe that people could come to China just for the food alone.
4. The language is so interesting, particularly the written language. I really enjoy how ideas can be presented in a way that is so different from the way it is done in English. There is not much demand for me to learn Chinese, and many people will feel ashamed if they are unable to communicate with me in English. As strange as it may sound... I believe that the people actually have a greater tolerance to differences in language, religion and social attitudes than what I find back home... Really... I mean it. The CPC on the other hand... Well, lets not get into that...
I guess the key here is that I need to adjust to how things are done here. I don't always like it, but I do live here, so I should make the best of it.
People, I hope you will excuse my spelling, grammatical, and structural errors found in this blog entry, and focus instead on the content. I also hope you would excuse some of the emotional appeal that you may find throughout this post, but if you've been here for a while, I think you may be able to relate to my frustration. Your kindness in this regard is appreciated. If there is anything unclear, don't hesitate to ask me.
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