Adjustments

I can now profess that I have lived in China for over three years. At the risk of sounding cocky, I would say that I understand alot... That is that I understand how much I do not actually understand.  This country is so complex, and I dare say that, maybe even more so than the United States. It is a land of contrast. I can see really beautiful and amazing things, but I also see things that make me doubt my faith in humanity. Sure, my Chinese has improved, but it just reveals to me many more level that exist that I do not understand about this society.

Overall, I would say that, besides the problems that I create myself, things are fairly easy. The hardest thing I think I deal with is the feeling I get from time to time that no one here really cares about anything except themselves, and there are no people here who care anything about me (unless I can teach them English, or somehow give them face with their friends). It is so hard to see how Chinese people can be to each other, and it is difficult to watch sometimes.

Cultural differences do not disappear overnight, and my impression is that adapting to change is not a strong suit of many Chinese people. This may be somewhat of a problem because Baoding has undergone many drastic changes over the three years I have been here. I am not sure what will come in the future for either myself, or for anything or anyone else for that matter. I just hope that the changes here, that seem to be happening on a daily basis can be met with grace and dignity.


I find myself from time-to-time having to make adjustments to my life as I continue to understand this culture. As I learn more about how this society works, I find that sometimes, I enter an uncomfortable space while I adjust and accept some fact that I cannot change. I have to deal with certain attitudes, that sometimes vary greatly from the way I think, and this is not always comfortable. 

I guess I don't really have a happy message today, but I must say that, I am happy to be working again. I really do enjoy the work. I just hope that I am helpful to my students, and I am not wasting their time.

I guess that this post is not too helpful, I am not really describing anything specific. I am talking entirely in general and vague terms that don't really describe anything. I am sorry about this. I hope that I get around to maybe describing some of these things in the future. Tonight, I am not really in the mood to do so.

That is all for now.